Safe Space with Portia

It's been a minute. Life has been teaching me lessons.

Its funny that at one point I used to host events and speak in front of people. Now I cannot fathom doing a live on facebook. My light may have dimmed but I am slowly turning it on again. I am sure those who know me maybe shocked by this. Life happens but just like a catapult one has to be stretched back to aim further forward.

This morning I had a recap of how my 2023 was and how I could have been helped. I am not saying that it works for everyone but it would have helped me in my intense grieving period. I wish my close friends visited me more often without asking me if I was ok with it. I wish my family members would just pitch up un announced. I wish my friends would not listen to me when I said I was doing well. I was not doing well. During this period most of family and friends tended to move away from me like I had leprosy. Others would give an excuse that they did not know how to deal with me. I also did not know how to deal with myself. Both my friends and I were in this situation for the first time. I would encourage friends who have friends who are grieving to stand by them. Be there be present, dont ask if they are ok. Show up. Sit in silence if you have nothing to say. Sometimes its the best thing that you can do. Shunning them just adds to their misery. It is the most lonely time for the bereaved.

Compliments of the new season to everyone. Do not be pressured into biting more than you can chew because its a new year. Small steps, baby steps can get you far.

As I celebrate another year added, I appreciate the journey I have been on. Its not an easy one but it is worth it. I am grateful for the gift of life. To everyone who has added value in my life I salute you.

This festive season be mindful of your words. People are going through a lot. Stay away from commenting on people's weight or asking about their accomplishments. Let us be kind

As today marks 1 yeat since we buried my beloved husband I have been so emotional. It all came back like yesterday. I found myself weeping uncontrollably. And yet I thought I am done with tears. Grief is something else.

Today marks the anniversary of my husband death. Grief has taught me so much. When one is grieving, phrases like "it is well", "it will get better in time" sound a bit offensive comparing to what one will be going through at that particular time. In actual truth no words can comfort you. All one needs is to be seen and heard. I hope we will learn one day how to hold space for grieving people.

Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. I always encourage everyone to be kind. You never know, your cruel comment could be the last straw for someone. Whenever you don't have anything nice to say silence is always the best response.

At times all one needs is good rest. Sleep. When you are exhausted sleep. You owe yourself that much.