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MappingTheFuture
DailyBread, 05-19-2024,25

Training my learning curve has been at best like walking a slippery slope, I would know I'd failed before it happened! I expected to fail & I did, I knew I'd failed before it became self-evident & so on. To say it was disheartening doesn't begin to describe the discouragement I experienced, & lucky for me I did not give up no matter the feelings of the past failings like bullets loaded in my memory's gun chamber, locked & loaded ready to fail always lurking in the background, a program running 24x7 part of any attempt to break away from its clutches. This was such a picture I faced when I was bowled over by the results, ok, let me tell you what happened, there I was reading a book on changing my life, following the instructions laid out, focusing just on the change wanted- nothing else, then I rehearsed the actions I'd written down picturing & following my mental steps, it was like after the third rehearsal something indefinable changed, I didn't feel any different, but something was different inside of me, I couldn't put my finger on it, as my awareness unfolded. The expected disappointed feeling was--just missing!! ... an empty space, not a void had replaced it. After writing it down in my journal I looked at the words seeing what was written unseeing their meaning. When the moment finally cleared away what registered as a blank was, nooo blank a shocking reality replacing the letdown emotion I expected... a different reality & history for the first time had taken place in my life . My ability to cause change a change I wanted to happen—happened, the usual regret & negative attitude was replaced with a growing comprehension to one that was humbling. I am a witness that miracles happen, just exercising stick-to-it-iveness, tenacity, & persistence are in the bedrock of quality living. No one told me I’d have this experience & more important how to go about making it happen. This moment opened doors that only happened when I opened the door that led to becoming what I wanted. And on the way to practicing the quality reps required within myself, only with reps that I saw that took me from, like a journey, to the flip-side to defeat, winning, it is important to remember why I "had to" win & how I made it happen. I cannot forget God's hand taken root in my hand is how I was humbly empowered when thinking “I give up,” it was the soundtrack that was interwoven in my life up until I changed “the process” of working what I “want” to become. I discovered with my beginning steps that when I saw the first step of prayer as my "go to". Thankfully & gratefully the moment became the reward of believing in myself. Anyone who exercises, a "little faith, then a little more through to finished has more than the reward of completing the work, the reward afterwards is the real reward on top of the little rewards. This reward is “What I became, continuing to what I am, to what I will become...it all beginning “with God & the desire to win … Amen”

Words: The Transforming Power Of Mankind
DailyBread 04-15-25

As I looked around I became a seeker of discerning what is food for my Soul, yearning to strengthen my Spirit, writing both in journal & notes in a time rich with offerings to seek, study, & learn from. Finding truth to connect to & applying it to my life with frequent practice, upgrading-updating to become more complete & to remain relevant & knowledgeable than what I was at that time. In Application, Striving, Struggling, & Testing wrought a Testimony that required submission to validate what I learned. Moving on with a mission to remain focused/connected with God's purpose😂gained through submitting to what felt was right. This was unattainable by any other means than the straight & narrow path without deviation, my discipline the path emerged from a heart attuned to God the Father, Jesus The Christ, & The Holy Ghost. Unlike any other than the author of The Way & the Light. A broken Heart & a contrite Spirit ,,, the harvest brought about when Seeking Spiritual attunement with the Godhead, an offering of a broken heart and a contrite Spirit. willingness to surrender to God's will and to repent. Empathy connected to emotional attachment empowers a different communication I didn't know existed.

Some children may have a very different temperament than that of a parent, or may not communicate affection in the same way, which can interfere with the quality of their emotional relationship. grounded there is a quiet peace & stillness & inner peace is learned & accepted. A Spiritual balance is achieved, one of the discoveries found in my addiction recovery, I firmly believe once the Spiritual grounding-inner peace is consistently practiced once the work has undergone the proof tested user friendly, then &, only then can I claim & testify I am grounded with an understanding that I must continue to submit to tests of grounding because once I take for
granted what I have become proficient in the reward takes on new meaning & a different language. I lose & become disempowered when I drop off from the very practices & humble attitude that wrought the miracle behavior. Dysorder {chronic, unhealthy behaviors} run down my life, the season of healing becomes a force as I slowly but surely fall "back" into a lifeless slave at my trigger's beck & call. This scenario is like a Jekyll & Hyde script, & it reads-is just like the play except I'm the villain & hero. I offered myself & will in sacrifice till my character embraces villainy. This nulls & voids the "earned blessing." This self revelation, the self acknowledgement is harmful & destructive in many ways because I "See" & "Think" that there's no way out of what I've gotten myself into.

To illustrate my point: As a child I worked hard for a reward, like candy. The reward was a singularity I used to block out distractions to get my reward. Once I was given the verbal praise & treat-I felt entitled to the reward, so much, I didn't see the incentive to work unless I was rewarded. This was-is one of the thinking errors that handicapped my abilities, my thinking, & more importantly it's impact to me was more harmful because I became an excuse maker when I wasn't willing to work. To remedy the damage from Trauma a new words & language to include finding relevance in their application. I didn’t know or understand the negative association I found with others where Trauma seen as the new or different topic-language takes a while for a consensus understanding. That, is another work in progress.

AddictionRecovery, SpiritsInBattle&War
DailyBread&Practice
04-13-2024

Only In Battle' Heat, Is Battle Sweat Earned. Sweat Equity Earned With Struggling The One Common Denominator Present In All Missions Of Worth & Value. Price Is Typically Unrealized At War's Front. The Conceived In Chaotic Childhood's Playground, Though Roleplayed, Imagination Leaving No Doubt The Constant Reminder Of Victor Or Vanquished. Once Adulthood Influences Play- Out, Memories With The Stakes Pressing All Levels Of Being, Forward Played. Reframing The Moment's Battle, Raging On Within/ On Without, Regardless Of The Outcome Losing Within, Suffocating In Chaos. Bound Without Reason, War's Teachings & Lessons Remind That When The Is Past Held On To Believing What I've Always Known, I give up the past, "In Order" to "Get To" Live My Future.

There Is A Blind Me, Forced Into Submission. Innocence Lost In The Role Now Fulfilled, Its Toll Leaves A Valid Hollow Emptiness, It Escapes Any Definitive Measure Of The Immeasurable Spirit's Drain. Unacknowledged Long After Defeats & Victories. Returning Home Piecing Together The Tattered Life's Threads, Some Unknown, Others Don't Fit Leaving Loose Ends. Put Off Till Tomorrow's Tomorrow. Tending A Different Mission, While Everything Is Tainted With Memories Bidden & Unbidden. To Rise Above It All, Thriving Gracefully Is Not Always Possible, Without God's Grace Paying The Difference In What One Is Unable To Pay, Grace Is SometimesThe Only Friend & Ally. The Struggle Is Different, Pushing The Spirit To & Fro, Leaving The Mindset With The One Thought, "But For The Grace Of God, Go I" Cont'd
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Recovery’s Lessons
DailyBread 04-04-25

Direction In Recovery Lessons Is Priceless, Increasing Knowledge While I Exercise: Lessons, Knowledge, Chasing After Understanding, That-Truth! Remains A Reflection Of Work Done ... Seeking Validation, Seeking The Meaning Of Investing In My Recovery. Acknowledging The One Thing That Matters- Learning & Lessons, Exercising My Right ,, No-It’s An Inalienable Right" That Has Ceased Being Passed On. What Set Me Up Was Designed For The Live-Stage Setting Of Preparation. As A Field it Is Setup For Play, Seeds Planted In Furrow‘s Of Discipline, Belief Worked To Bring Skills To Meeting An Expected Display Of Ability Drives Driven Need Beyond The Self Placed Limits. A Need To Drive, To Achieve, To Win, An Ever Increasing Challenge To Top My Requirements Set As My Standard, While Exponentially Exercising Restraint & Compatibility. This Is Not: To ‘Stop Doing, To Stop Being Super Courageous, To ‘Not’ Stop Praying. Acknowledging What Has Been Planted In My Mind Is The Power Of Example. My Mind Though Unseeing, Is Bent By The Process Of The Daily Toil Of Practicing What I was Told In Childhood, Now A Youth Gathering Twilight, Succumbing To "The Dawning Harvest," Am I: less than Value?! A Cycle Whose History Now Being Retold In Media, Music, & In Common Everyday Language.My Shared Fragments Told In Movies, Like A Tapestry Awaiting Yet Another Version Written In Script Form. Stretchinh The Truth To Its Breaking Point Where The Storyline Is Seen In Scenes From Niagara Falls To The Great Pyranese…

I Let Fear Manage My Tears, For Fear Is My Investment, My Identity. I Too Taken, By What I Saw, What I Experienced, What Words Fear Robbed Me Of. This The Illusion Makes What I Bought ”Sight Unseen“ Influenced The Belief(s) I Carry Today. A Scene So Real Distorting My Soul, Caught ‘N’ Trapped By Love That Version Devised By Others Who Traded Their Lives For The Fear Forced Upon Them, As Youth is Most Impressionable When The Unknown Is Forfeited For Secrets That Bind The mind, Slavery That In An Illusion Is real Enough To Give Up The Most Precious Possession Of All. Having Been So Deceived Few Ever Recover From The Lies Taught Them In Childhood. Upon Whom The Hope Of Mankind Rests… The Matter Of Most Importance Resides In Those Who Cannot Find The Behavior Difference That Is A Practice Requiring A Change Of Direction Instead Of Being “Stuck” In A Downward Direction Seen Only As Deeply Disappointing, While Paralyzed Leaves Little To Nothing To The Imagination, As All Else Seen-A Narrative Conclusion As The Rehearsed Winds Down, How Did This Hypnotic Dance Begin, & More Importantly, Why Am I Not Alarmed By My Behavior…?!

The Heart Of The Matter Lies In The Unresolved Emotions-My Unfinished Business That Became At Some Point The Individual Programs I See Running Around In The Background Of My Mind Like A Race I’m Running ,,, I Am The Only One In The Race, The Race With No Reason, Goal, Or Purpose. I Just Run , Run,Run To … I Don’t Want To Know Why ,,, I Just Gotta Run … The Thing Is, When I Get Too Tired To Run, When I’ve Had E-NUFF,I’ll Quit!!! …Stop In My Trax… Never Knowing Why Or What Or When I’ll Cross The Finish Line Knowing The
Purpose-Miles I Ran … Is Enough, For Now?!

Trauma’sInsidiousInsidePresence
DailyBread 03-12-25

I had to face, no … forced to live a reality caused by trauma. It ’is’ a reality that cannot be compared to what other realities are like. This isn’t a victim stance, it’s a simple fact that Trauma-realities differ-so ”distinctly“ from person to person & yet my experience has been that I see some differences but I don’t understand other people’s experiences because trauma is a different experience & moment for each person, I acknowledge how much I admire those differences, differences that aren’t normal let alone celebrated. I don’t want to hang out with someone that is too different, That reality is too much reality. Addiction made it easier to celebrate my differences which meant I didn’t care, nothing healthy happening just trying to fit in a very abnormal part of the human experience leaving the sober world & family behind, to me became singular characteristics belonging to an abnormal subset, on the surface what I am becoming differed to a point, until enough individuals teamed up pointing fingers at the individual’s differences, this difference was a unifying thinking error creating a harsher reality that became unbearable. As an addict, a bond is formed relegating lower-disproved class of nobodies, seen as the scourge by the ruling class, a society that thinks & puts into effect their version of laws to further how to deal with unmentionable group that aren’t even seen as equals. A feeling of being fortunate runs from one end of the spectrum as, “I am so glad I don’t have that problem,” to the other end of the spectrum that sees, adapts, & finds the way to tolerate & thrive from their experience with addicts. I have after pondering the Addict’s lifestyle found an addict in every person on planet earth, some addictions pass off as acceptable while other addictions are seen & treated as a plague by all persons living within a “zip code’s” influence.

When it comes to trauma the reality of feeling or not feeling is a very confusing experience, sometimes leaving a blank page because trauma in my life is an experience that took me a long, long time to share & listen to others share because of the triggers I have come to know & find my voice to help give voice to those that “can not” "have not" found their voices yet. After all not everyone will find a way to add their voice because ”that!” is what happens in some cases. the extreme nature takes on a life all its own causing unnatural consequences, like repeating flashback memory's, like a stuck song repeating the same words & lyrics without ever playing the record through, a defect sometimes called a glitch is what happened to me. Stuck with a mental memory glitch can be an: irritating, or intimidating, & or maddening moment that repeats any & every time the trigger is triggered by some reminders of an unspeakable experience that leaves therapists shaking their heads because only specialists can begin to make sense of. Trust is another major hurdle to get over & no amount of practice can ensure the defining moment when service rendered will resolve a patient’s situation, there is a long long journey before the ”help given” measures up to the "value" of the treatment received. Happy Recovery All 😊

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Thanksgiving 2024
We “Get To”
DailyBread 11-28-2024

We "Get To" become the work we invest in. Sometimes we don't
"Get To" call the shots or the
amount of time it takes to be
rewarded. Don't be put off … after
all the greatest of creations took billions & billions of years of local time. Are we anymore deserving or expecting than they?!

We do not grow without facing & doing the work that is in front of
us, no matter the outcome of knowledge & experience they are
priceless providing the Tapestry/fabric our Spiritual clothing & countenance are made of.

Our story is that of our eternal identification shining like a beacon emitting the truth that resonates from every fount of our spiritual
beings communicating our stories through opportunity(s) we & others cultivate through common goals shared & worked together. We
arrive at worked interests together seen as common the Lord to
create & imagination according to faith & belief grown out of these works grown within. Growing strengths in all endeavors, duties,
& completed assignments, our
lives edified & blessed through service picking up on information
that is telling, a spiritual reset,
when focusing on a humble ...
"Gratitude of self-giving"
Praise the Lord! And a
Happy Thanksgiving .. 🍗God bless everyone🦃 ...
☺️🤔🤣😁🥹😮❤️💛🤍🖤🌟✨!!!
Amen ...

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02-22-2024 DailyBread
MindfullyBecoming,BeingMindful rev2-
Part5

It's not a thought, though thought is part of the reality that feeds life, feeds want, feeds needs beyond our mind-sight, while I am reduced to petty battles, they accepting their reborn status as Neu-Addict-Recoverer takes on & requires a different approach by participating, embracing, by not sharing "empowers" an adventure brimming with; different challenges, seeing their world through a different mindset, exposing themselves & enduring, valuing the struggles they expose themselves to as if their very life, a life newly found, depends on it, relishing self-discoveries a life, now, cherished above all else. They realize, accepting that they are, right, all decisions going forward are founded on developing a new base of knowledge, self taught experiences discovered, seen as prescious, this includes the life-tool, language.

How one communicates they discover is fundamental to their recovery, key to rewriting their future history. Taking pen in hand they write it all down, new: words, phrases, language, journal, experiences, moments, meaningful memories, events, etc. How one communicates is life eternal, communication “is” our “DailyBread”. To live on, live by, live for, to become, giving permission to being what they want to be, all else is an exercise in futility. Communication sustains action, part of a process giving; support, defines purpose, adds to meaning, to what is wanted… They have found what it is. Being around other addicts not on the same page they are on is their, Achilles heel, celebrating their new found birth in recovery while weakening their ability to fend off their past addiction bound to memories, leaving their kryptonite addiction & influence in control. Succumbing as their past overwhelms their bodies, messaging echoes of their addiction brand, too close to acknowledge too far from view to understand. They reach for what is wanted, & as always copilot dictates the moment as well ,,, Meanwhile a thought fed & nurtured redirects self-investing, investing in their soon to be reframed direction & plan in hand, seeing what is wanted. Not being distracted by influences, self-investing the Lifetool that lays claim to what I am becoming. This is the moment after doing all that I do, the birthing moment of Self-empowerment... Cont’d
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02-22-2024 DailyBread
MindfullyBecoming,,,BeingMindful rev1-
Part5

It's not a thought, though thought is part of the reality that feeds life, feeds want, feeds needs beyond our mind-sight, while I am reduced to petty battles, they accepting their reborn status as Neu-Addict-Recoverer takes on & requires a different approach by participating, embracing, by not sharing "empowers" an adventure brimming with; different challenges, seeing their world through a different mindset, exposing themselves & enduring, valuing the struggles they expose them to as if their very life, a life newly found, depends on it, relishing self-discoveries a life, now, cherished above all else. They realize, accepting that they are, right, all decisions going forward are founded on developing a new base of knowledge, self taught experiences discovered, seen as prescious, this includes the life-tool, language. How one communicates they discover is fundamental to their recovery, key to rewriting their future history, taking pen in hand they write it all down, new: words, phrases, language, journal, experiences, moments, meaningful memories, events, etc. How one communicates is life eternal, communication “is” DailyBread, used to live on, live by, live for, to become, giving permission to being what they want to be, all else is an exercise in futility. Communication sustaining actions, giving support, meaning, defining what is wanted… They have found what it is. Being around other addicts not on the same page they are on is their, Achilles heel, celebrating their new found birth in recovery, weakening their ability to fend off their past addiction memories leaving their kryptonite addiction influence in control. Succumbing as their past overwhelms. They reaching for what is wanted,,, Cont’d