The Fabled Collective

Happy Filipino American History Month! 🇵🇭🇺🇸

Just a Girl and her Bear. 🖤

I took Bear to the vet yesterday as he’s had a very pronounced limp for the past year or so. Once there, they said they needed to do a light sedation in order to get comprehensive x-rays, which I expected. What I didn’t expect was the flood of emotions that came over me as I held him on the floor after they gave him the sedative.

He was fine. It had nothing to do with Bear.

But I couldn’t stop the memories of holding Bella the exact same way last year as she took her last breath. Just her and I laying on that cold floor under the glaring fluorescent lights, second guessing every decision I had made, and reminding her I loved her. 13 years wasn’t enough and my body kept the score.

Bear woke up in 30 min. ACL tear confirmed. I’ll be consulting with an orthopedic surgeon due to his age (he’s 11) and possible alternative treatments.

But there’s nothing quite like anticipatory grief.

My trip to the beach was just as much of a celebration for me turning a new decade as it was for Him. Bella had died never seeing the ocean and I didn’t want to have that same regret for Bear. The sea has always been such a special place for me and I think everyone deserves to see something that big and beautiful at least once.

But I know how this works. I know loving him means eventually having to live without him. And when that time comes, it will be my greatest honor to see him through to the next life.

But I don’t want that awareness to make me afraid of losing Bear. I want it to make me better at loving him while he’s here.

So we’ll go to the beach. I’ll share my fries. We’ll always take the long way home and he’ll keep getting his weekly pup cubs at Dutch Bros.

And however much time we have left, I’m going to try not to spend it grieving him before he’s gone.

For now, it’s still just a Girl and her Bear. 🖤

📸: Eternal Lokumbe ✨

Noodles. Don’t noodles. 🍜

(hint: noodles is always the answer) (Filipino accent)

Noodles? Don’t noodles 🍜.

(hint: noodles is always the answer)

Anyways, back to your regularly scheduled programming 💋

The episode where the girlstrip finally made it out of the group chat 👏🐎✨

Details:
Stay: The Trueheart Hotel
Drank: Grapetown Vineyard & Farm
Ate: Casa Chloe The Pharmacy Fredericksburg
Shop: FELT BOUTIQUE

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