Anthony Payne

Apparently I got “blocked” by a hairstylist. 😂

But honestly, I don’t blame her. I’m pointing out something that I think is much bigger than one hairstylist or one trim.

We have been trained to believe that our hairstylist is responsible for the health and quality of our hair.

They’re not.

Hairstylists are trained to perform services. They’re trained to cut, style, color, straighten, install, etc. They’re not necessarily trained to teach you how to maintain the structural quality of your hair between appointments.

And that distinction matters.

Because what keeps happening is the same cycle:

Grow your hair.
Wait too long to address the ends.
Come in for a “trim.”
Lose a significant amount of length.
Start over.
Wait again.
Repeat.

Then everybody is frustrated because the hair “won’t grow.”

But the problem isn’t necessarily that your hair isn’t growing.

It’s that you’re relying on a service provider to maintain something that YOU have to learn how to maintain every day.

And I don’t blame the stylist for that either. If the industry has primarily taught stylists to perform services, then that is what they’re going to perform.

The responsibility has to come back to the person wearing the hair.

Especially for Black women.

Because not everybody can afford to sit in a salon every two weeks. Not everybody has the time. And you shouldn’t have to.

You should understand your own hair well enough to know what it needs between appointments.

THAT is why I believe in consultations.

Not so you can become your own hairstylist.

So you can become your own hair manager.

Learn how your hair behaves. Learn how to detangle it without destroying it. Learn how to maintain your ends. Learn how to preserve the structure you’ve spent months or years growing.

Then use your hairstylist for what they’re actually trained to do.

Because I couldn’t imagine having the same depressing conversation with the same client every few months:

“Okay… you haven’t reached your goal again.”

Same hair.
Same problems.
Same trim.
Same cycle.

We have to break the cycle somewhere.

And I think it starts with teaching people how to take

F R E E

Which one is it? Because that’s for sure not high functioning hair…!

You might have long hair and not even know it.

We’ve been taught to check hair length by pulling it down and stretching it out. That works pretty well for hair that naturally hangs straight or can easily be stretched to its full length.

But Afro-textured hair doesn’t give you that privilege.

A coil can shrink dramatically, and even when you stretch it, it may never completely straighten without pressing it. So a lot of people are looking at their shrinkage and assuming they have short hair—when they may actually have A LOT of hair.

And this is why I don’t think short, medium, and long hair should be defined by how far you can pull the hair down.

I think length is better understood by behavior.

SHORT: Your curl pattern isn’t really showing yet. The hair is still compact and behaving more like a short structure.

MEDIUM: The hair has enough length for its pattern to become visible and start influencing how the hair moves, connects, and needs to be groomed.

LONG: Now you can start seeing weight enter the equation. The hair begins to hang differently. The pattern gets pulled by its own mass. The shape, movement, volume, and grooming needs start changing.

And that can look completely different from one texture to another.

Because long isn’t a number. Short isn’t a number.

Hair changes behavior as it gains length.

And every time that behavior changes, your grooming practices have to change with it.

That’s the part people miss.

You don’t just need to know how long your hair is.

You need to know what your hair does at that length.

When I ask, “Which hair’s ecosystem looks healthier?” I’m not asking which style is prettier. I’m asking which environment gives the hair and scalp the best chance to exist.

On one side, you have the hair in its natural, fluffy shape. It’s dry, expanded, and following its own curl pattern. On the other side, the hair has been stretched, coated in product, laid flatter, and is moving against the shoulders and body.

From an ecosystem perspective, the fluffy hair has a few advantages. The hair is standing away from the scalp, allowing more air to move through it. Its volume also creates more shade over the scalp instead of exposing it through a defined part. Because the curls are clustered together, the outermost hairs receive the most exposure to the environment while much of the interior remains more sheltered.

The sleeker style changes that environment. Products add weight, moisture, oils, waxes, fragrances, and film-forming ingredients that stay on both the hair and the scalp. Laying the hair flatter reduces the space between strands, changes airflow, and often leaves a visible part where sunlight can reach the scalp more directly. As the hair hangs against the neck, shoulders, and clothing, it also creates more contact and movement along the mid-lengths and ends than hair that stays lifted away from the body.

So if the only question is, “Which hairstyle creates the healthier hair ecosystem?” my vote goes to the natural, fluffy curl pattern. It allows the hair to exist with fewer external restraints, provides more coverage over the scalp, and keeps environmental exposure concentrated more toward the outermost portions of the hair instead of exposing the entire length and the scalp.

Life❣️

What if the problem isn’t your hairline… but the deadline society puts on it?

The second a man’s hairline starts to recede, everyone acts like there are only two options: panic or shave it all off. But why?

When did we decide that hair is only worth appreciating if it looks 22 years old?

If you’ve still got hair, why not take care of what you have? Why is the conversation always about giving up instead of maintaining it?

I’m not talking about medical conditions or every possible exception. I’m talking about the millions of people who still have hair but have been taught that the moment it changes, it’s over.

We celebrate the wisdom, confidence, and experience that come with aging, but we treat the physical signs of aging like they’re something to erase.

Maybe the question isn’t, “How do I hide that I’m getting older?”

Maybe it’s, “How do I care for the version of me I have today?”

I think we’ve normalized surrendering to our hair long before we’ve learned how to truly care for it. That’s the conversation I’m interested in having.

I would love to debate professionals but their entire business is based around making you believe that your hair was poorly designed by God. So they scurd and go jump on their burner accounts to call me anti black.

All the investment into someone else bundles. Time spent understanding someone else’s hair texture. It’s NOT us. It’s ignorance. It’s believing the hair is a crunchy mess so you don’t think to care for it that’s the way it’s always been. Trimming atleast 2x a year if you are styling and cutting atleast 4 inches a year to give your child a fighting chance for follicles after 30.

Dm me parents! You can not afford not to do it and can’t afford to take her to the shop. Your only choice is to do it at home and PROPERLY!

Preamble: Here’s a faster, punchier version that keeps your energy.

Everybody’s debating whether 4C hair should be able to exist “as is.”

Wrong conversation.

The real question is: what’s the basic standard of hair grooming?

Not styling. Not beauty. Grooming.

We all know to trim our nails and brush our teeth, but nobody taught us how to recognize healthy hair. We confuse dry, crunchy hair with our texture. We confuse split ends with volume. We let damaged ends live on our heads because we think that’s just how our hair grows.

That’s why I don’t just sell hairstyles—I teach hair care. My virtual consultations are about helping you understand your own hair so you’re not dependent on salons forever.

I don’t care if you wear an afro, braids, locs, or a silk press. I care that the hair underneath is healthy and respected.

Healthy hair isn’t a style. It’s a grooming standard.

What’s your definition of basic hair grooming?👇