Grieving husband

When my wife passed away and everyone had already cried, it was just me and her in the room. I asked God why He took her from me. Was it to end her suffering? Am I supposed to be thankful?
I was angry, broken, and crying. Even before that morning, even though I already knew what might happen, I kept begging God not to take her away. I asked Him to heal her. I didn’t want anything else in this world. I never cared for gadgets or traveling—my happiness was simply being with my wife. She knew that.
The only thing that ever made me truly happy was seeing her happy. Then our children came, and my love grew even more.
It has been seven months since she left. Christmas came. New Year came. Her birthday came last December. And I am still hurting. As I write this, I can’t stop crying.
I feel alone—not because I have no one, but because I no longer have my wife. I have my children who give me strength, my family who supports me, and friends who try to pull me back into life.
But I still ask myself what I am supposed to do now. I know she is no longer here. I know I won’t see her again in this life. I loved my wife more than my own life.
I just wish we had more time.
Even just a little more. 😔

Am I ungrateful?
Every day, I wish it had been me instead of my wife. She died of cancer last May 16, 2025, and the pain never leaves. I feel like she would have taken better care of our kids than I ever could. She deserved a long, happy life—more than me.
I miss her so much. As I write this, I can’t stop crying. All I want is to see my wife again, even just once, so I can tell her how much she means to me.
Every day I cry, because no matter what I do, I know I will never see my wife again.
God, sobrang sakit po. 😢

I don’t know if anyone can relate to what I’m about to share, but I’ll say it anyway.

I feel so ashamed every time I have to ask for help. People don’t know that it’s never my intention to burden anyone. No one is more disappointed in me than myself. This is not who I am. I wasn’t raised this way. But it feels like if I don’t reach out, I might completely fall apart.

I just need help right now. I know in my heart that after this, I’ll be able to stand on my own again. I understand that others may not see it that way, especially because I struggle to explain myself. Still, all I ask is for a little trust.

I truly believe that a time will come when I won’t need to ask for help anymore—when I’m back on my feet, when I can provide for my children, save for their future, and be the one helping others instead.

Right now, I just need someone to have faith in me.