Yahbara Nutrition & Wellness

THE THIRD PARTY SITUATION | PART 2
Privacy, Secrecy and the Character of Betrayal

Privacy and secrecy are not the same.

Privacy says: “I remain an individual, even within our relationship.”

Secrecy says: “I am withholding something because the truth would affect your right to choose.”

Healthy relationships still require individuality and personal space. Marriage or commitment does not remove a person’s right to dignity, friendships or reasonable privacy.

However, some deceptive partners demand “privacy” while guarding their phones, changing passwords, disappearing without explanation or responding aggressively to reasonable questions.

Labels may then be used to avoid accountability:

“I am avoidant.”
“I need freedom.”
“You are too anxious.”

Attachment styles may explain certain behaviours, but they do not excuse dishonesty. A label is not a licence to betray.

At the same time, privacy, emotional distance or an avoidant personality should never automatically be treated as proof of infidelity. Suspicion without evidence can also damage a relationship.

The real concern is a persistent pattern of deception, contradiction, manipulation and refusal to take responsibility.

When betrayal is exposed, the injured partner often begins questioning herself:

Was I attractive enough?
Was I too busy?
Did I fail to satisfy my partner?
Was I too trusting?

Relationship problems can belong to both partners.

Betrayal does not.

Intimacy problems may be real. Medical conditions, trauma, hormonal changes, disability and depression can all affect a relationship. These difficulties deserve honest and compassionate conversations.

If someone decides that they can no longer remain in the relationship, they should communicate that truth honestly.

End one relationship before beginning another.

Trusting your partner does not make you foolish. Being deceived does not mean that you lacked intelligence. A lie can remain hidden precisely because the person being deceived honoured the relationship enough not to live like an investigator.

Betrayal reflects the character of the person who chose it, not the value of the person who was betrayed.

Where do you believe privacy ends and secrecy begins?

📖 Read the full article on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/third-party-situation-mercedes-monden-4rsoe

Part 3: Spiritual warfare does not cancel personal accountability.

Mercedes E. O Monden
Author | Minister | Women’s Advocate@top fans

THE THIRD PARTY SITUATION | PART 1
How Secret Relationships Hide in Plain Sight

Not every “other woman” knows that she is the other woman. Sometimes, two women are living inside the same lie, while only one person knows the complete truth.

This reflection is not about one particular relationship. It examines patterns seen across different relationships, cultures and communities.

Third party situations do not only develop in hotel rooms or unfamiliar cities. They can begin and continue in ordinary places: the office, the gym, the church, business conferences and even conversations held quietly inside parked cars.

The workplace can provide convincing cover. A person leaves home at the expected time, dresses for work and returns according to a normal schedule. Meetings, overtime, business trips and traffic delays can all become believable explanations.

Meanwhile, the partner at home may genuinely believe that the person she loves is working hard to support the family. She does not investigate because she trusts.

That trust is then used as camouflage.

The gym, church and social gatherings can offer similar opportunities. However, these environments are not inherently suspicious. Going to work, exercising or serving in church is not evidence of infidelity.

The issue is not the location. It is the deliberate use of ordinary routines to conceal extraordinary deception.

Some secret relationships survive for years because each person receives only one part of the story. The spouse knows the work schedule but not what happens during unexplained gaps. The affair partner knows the romantic version but may not know the reality of the marriage. Friends and colleagues may notice inconsistencies but decide that it is none of their business.

The deception survives because no single person holds all the pieces.

Perhaps society has spent too much time asking the betrayed woman, “How did you not know?”

A better question might be: “How did this person become so skilled at lying?”

Why do you believe some third party situations remain hidden for so long?

📖 Read the full article on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/third-party-situation-mercedes-monden-4rsoe

Part 2: Privacy, secrecy and the character of betrayal.

Mercedes E.O Monden
Author | Minister | Women’s Advocate

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