Nonye,s Business Corner

I served my wife a divorce letter.

Immediately, she left the house with a few of her belongings and switched off her phone.

The reason I wanted a divorce from my wife was because of how untidy the house always looked.

I'm a man who loves a clean environment, but my wife always left everywhere untidy.

So, on the 2nd of November—that was on Sunday—I served my wife divorce letters.

She didn't utter a statement.

She went inside, picked a few of her clothes, and left the house, leaving our four children (ages 2, 4, 7, and 8) with me.

I told her never to step her leg in my house again.

On Monday, November 3rd, I woke up as early as 5:00 AM to dress the kids because I had to be at work by 8:00 AM.

As I was cooking, I was bathing them and dressing them up.

Before I knew it, the food had gotten burnt.

When I checked the time, it was already 8:00 AM.

I screamed—how could I be this late to work?

I was rushing the kids to hurry them up.

Then, the little 2-year-old girl said, "Daddy, poo-poo!"

I honestly was not ready to even listen to that.

What do you mean poo-poo?

Before I knew it, she had pooped in her pants.

Ha!

I couldn't cry.

I had to clean her up and put her in other clothes.

That morning was so very rough.

When I got to their school, it was already 9:00 AM.

That was when my 4-year-old son said, "My book is at home on the chair."

I was angry, but the teacher told me to go, saying he would submit it the following day.

At 5:00 PM, calls were entering my phone asking why I hadn't come to pick them up.

I asked if their mother didn't come, and they said yes, reminding me that the school closes by 4:00 PM.

Am I even ready for this stress?

I left my work to meet them and drove them home, thinking I would find my wife at home, but I didn't.

I called her line, but it was switched off.

Just when I was thinking of what to cook, they started calling, "Daddy, help me with my assignments."

Ha!

Help with assignments?

Assignments for 4 kids, and each one of them had two assignments to be done!

I told them to wait first, let me finish cooking.

I couldn't wash the dirty plates that I thought I would wash when I came back.

I couldn't wash their uniforms either.

I was just busy shouting: "Leave there!"

"Stop it!"

"Don't beat him!"

"Leave it!"

"Take it away!"

"Drop it there!"

I kept trying my wife's number—not to beg her, but to tell her to come and take her children—but she wasn't reachable.

The following day, Tuesday, was worse.

We got to their school by 10:00 AM, and their proprietress asked why, because they usually come to school before assembly.

I had to tell her their mother traveled.

"I hope they have done their assignments?" she asked.

I went mute.

That was when I remembered they hadn't done it.

Chai, I can't do this.

No, I can't.

I went to my sister's house to stylishly drop the children with her.

I saw that there's a home teacher who comes to their house to put her children through their homework.

I saw there's a house help who comes every evening to clean up their house.

She only has three children, and she told me her husband employed them.

When I got home, I called my mother-in-law and explained it to her.

I called every member of her family to talk to her to come home.

I told them that the divorce was a prank.

I had to play the victim—saying that she doesn't love me, because if she did, she wouldn't have left like that at all.

I claimed I just pranked her to know how she felt about me, but she failed.

I called my lawyer and told him that I'm no longer interested in that s**t.

I explained it to him, and he was just laughing.

How does my wife do all this?

And yes, she resumes work at 8:00 AM too.

Chai.

I couldn't even go to her place of work because of shame.

On Wednesday, the children didn't go to school at all because I did not know what excuse to tell them again about them not doing their assignments.

Everything had piled up, and I didn't even know where to start.

Finally, the family settled us, and my wife came home.

I had to beg her.

I told her everything, and she was laughing.

My love for her increased from zero to a trillion percent.

I had to hire a home lesson teacher for them to ease her stress.

I will never forget how I was traumatized for just four days.

I love my wife, a beg.

Read more stories on Bcdblog